


falling into empty space

by bananas



Category: Cricket RPF
Genre: Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pain, Song fic, Unhealthy Relationships, of sorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 20:59:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15203363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananas/pseuds/bananas
Summary: i wrote this short piece a few months back for s and i'm finally posting it. it's not a very happy piece so proceed with caution.it's based on the song iridescent by Linkin Park and i would highly recommend listening to it while you read this and you can find the song on youtubehere.i'm not sure if i'll add more so for now i've left it as incompletesome background to the plot that is probably necessary:you can find a brief history of their relationship courtesy of cricinfo (#2 supporters of gay cricket since the start of time - after the cricket fam)hereor you can read my shitty summary below:waqar and wasim were a fastbowling trio that played for pakistan years ago. this fic is set in 1993 during a difficult period for pakistan cricket when wasim had newly been appointed captain post our 1992 wc victory because imran khan, the captain, had just retired. waqar had always felt overlooked and it was true that imran always preferred wasim over waqar in team selection, bowling and given him more importance etc. during this period waqar turned on wasim and rallied other team members against him. this fic is a brief insight into what happened the first time waqar let his frustration known and fought with wasim and humiliated him in front of everyone.disclaimer: it is not my intention to paint anyone in a bad light with this fic. im sorry if this fic offends anyone and ive tried to stick to facts as much as possible but at the end of the day, this is a figment of my imagination and is only based on real people. don't read it if you cant handle it. but also, happy reading!





	falling into empty space

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this short piece a few months back for s and i'm finally posting it. it's not a very happy piece so proceed with caution. 
> 
> it's based on the song iridescent by Linkin Park and i would highly recommend listening to it while you read this and you can find the song on youtube [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqsxlLU_ebI)
> 
> i'm not sure if i'll add more so for now i've left it as incomplete
> 
> some background to the plot that is probably necessary: 
> 
> you can find a brief history of their relationship courtesy of cricinfo (#2 supporters of gay cricket since the start of time - after the cricket fam) [here](http://www.espncricinfo.com/story/_/id/20433029/brief-history) or you can read my shitty summary below:
> 
> waqar and wasim were a fastbowling trio that played for pakistan years ago. this fic is set in 1993 during a difficult period for pakistan cricket when wasim had newly been appointed captain post our 1992 wc victory because imran khan, the captain, had just retired. waqar had always felt overlooked and it was true that imran always preferred wasim over waqar in team selection, bowling and given him more importance etc. during this period waqar turned on wasim and rallied other team members against him. this fic is a brief insight into what happened the first time waqar let his frustration known and fought with wasim and humiliated him in front of everyone.
> 
> disclaimer: it is not my intention to paint anyone in a bad light with this fic. im sorry if this fic offends anyone and ive tried to stick to facts as much as possible but at the end of the day, this is a figment of my imagination and is only based on real people. don't read it if you cant handle it. but also, happy reading!

_Karachi,1993_

 

_When you were standing in the wake of devastation_

_When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown_

_And with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now_

_You were there impossibly alone_

 

He stood, balanced precariously on the edge of the sidewalk, where the road met the sand, where the city met the beach and where, long ago, two boys met each other. Even in darkness and the weak moonlight, Waqar saw him, his body swaying sightly with the harsh coastal winds and his tall silhouette casting a shadow on everything around him.

 

His hunched back straightened and his head lifted when Waqar came and stood next to him but that was all he received in response to his arrival. Waqar didn’t speak either and they stood in silence, staring at the sea.

 

“Why did you do it?”

  
Wasim spoke after what felt like hours of the sound of crashing waves and passing cars but his voice wasn’t like Waqar had ever heard; empty, expressionless, dead.

 

Waqar tried to not let the change in his voice and his tone get to him; he refused to realize that Wasim, who had always been so loud and expressive whether he was elated or angry or upset, sounded so broken because Waqar knew whose fault it was; he knew the reason why Wasim was stood here, on the same sidewalk they’d stood together countless times before, because there was only one person who had hurt Wasim on this night.

 

“I’m sorry,” was all Waqar could manage and Wasim huffed a disbelieving laugh in reply but didn’t say anything more.

 

They were men now; older, more mature and somehow, all these years later, Waqar found himself hurting Wasim the same way he used to when they were younger. He’d promised himself back then, watching Wasim wipe away his tears in the locker-room, that he would never let anyone break Wasim the way Waqar had watched his friends break him that day. He had promised himself that he would never let Wasim cry in an empty locker-room or anywhere again and that he would never let anyone hurt Wasim the way Waqar had hurt him. But here they were now, some 10, 12 years on, and Waqar had hurt Wasim again and he had broken the boy he had promised to protect from everyone, including himself.

 

“Wasim.”

 

He didn’t know why he said it, but Wasim turned to face him and Waqar then saw him for the first time that night. The emptiness in Wasim’s voice was reflected on his face and his blank stare bore holes into Waqar’s skull, hurting him so much worse than any amount of pain or anger ever could have.

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Waqar reached forward but Wasim stepped away immediately, nearly falling off the path and into the sand in his haste.

 

“You never do.” Wasim’s face wasn’t expressionless anymore; the betrayal in his voice and on his face was the last thing Waqar saw before Wasim walked away, leaving him standing there alone.

 

Here, on edge of the sidewalk- where the road met the sand, where the city met the beach and two boys met each other- those boys, now men, had come back to where they had met all those years ago. But now, left here by the other, only one stood there, a result of his own doing and his own mistakes. Here, where city came to a still and the sea came to life, this boy promised himself that he would fix what he had broken, that he would do everything in his power to never hurt this boy again, even if it meant leaving him forever.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> come say hi: [tumblr](http://storm-alert.tumblr.com)


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